


too think to drunk straight

by soobiscuits



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 04:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15678411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soobiscuits/pseuds/soobiscuits
Summary: Kyungsoo's drunk. Chanyeol starts filming.





	too think to drunk straight

**Author's Note:**

> written in celebration of jen's (almost) uni graduation! the last exam happened last saturday so now that everything's done and dusted, it's time to sit down and resume my writing hehe
> 
> also, secretary kim's drunk scenes inspired this
> 
> enjoy!

“Yeol, you've got to swing by to fetch Soo home. He apparently had, uh, _much_ to drink.”

“Kim Jongdae…”

“It's not my fault!”

“Your _boyfriend_ 's fault is yours, too. Tch, that Byun Baekhyun...”

“Anyway! Get here quick! You know how Soo’s like when he’s drunk!”

“Ugh, I wish I don’t.”

 

\---

 

After receiving that SOS (in Jongdae’s words), Chanyeol reaches Jongdae and Baekhyun’s shared apartment in ten minutes flat (seeing how they live only twelve streets away from one another). He enters the building’s carpark and goes around to find an empty lot. Reversing into a lot that’s, thankfully, at a corner of the carpark (which incidentally is also super far from the apartment building itself; no wonder it was left empty), Chanyeol parks his jeep and grabs his phone from the dashboard. 

“If Soo finds out I’m doing this…” Chanyeol mutters as he brings up the camera app and switches it to video mode. “I’m dead.”

 

\---

 

“Took you long enough! I was beginning to think that you’re going to leave Soo here for a sleepover.”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes at Jongdae as he toes off his sneakers at the front door of the apartment. “I wish I could, but then I’d be chased out of our apartment and be crashing on your couch even before the week is over.” He traipses over to where his boyfriend is resting, annoyance washing over him as he takes in where Kyungsoo is. “Oi, couldn’t you have placed him on the couch? Under the dining table is hardly a comfortable spot even for an unconscious drunkard.”

“You didn’t think I tried?” Jongdae scoffs, hands planted at his hips. He frowns at Chanyeol. “This boyfriend of yours wouldn’t budge and thank god I returned home in time to stop Hyun from joining him unde– Uh, why are you holding your phone like that?”

“Huh? Oh.” Chanyeol looks down at his phone before looking back up at Jongdae with a knowing smirk. “Recording blackmail material.” 

“You have a death wish.”

“I have a wish to _live_ interestingly,” says Chanyeol, brows wiggling. “Speaking of Hyun, where’s he?”

The deadpanned expression on Jongdae's face immediately changed to that of (fond) disgust. "He reeked, so I threw him into the bathtub."

“Didn’t he almost drown in a tub once?”

“Oh shit,” curses Jongdae. He scrambles towards the bathroom immediately, almost tripping over his own two feet. But in his haste, Jongdae doesn’t forget to holler over his shoulder, “Hurry up and get out of my house, jerkwad!”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes again. “So much so for saving his boyfriend’s life, tch.” He looks back down at the figure who’s still unconscious under the dining table. Lying on his front, Kyungsoo has a side of his face smushed against the kitchen flooring, causing his full, plump lips to look pouty. Chanyeol drops to a squat in front of him and sighs fondly. His boyfriend is so adorable.

In his self-induced revel in watching Kyungsoo sleep, Chanyeol forgets that he has his phone in his hand and that it’s video-recording everything that’s happening. He only remembers when he’s about to reach over to Kyungsoo to pull him out from under the table. “Oh, I forgot about this,” Chanyeol murmurs, and he props the phone against a table leg, lens facing Kyungsoo and him, before going under the table.

“Oh dear. Oh my,” whispers Chanyeol as he sits down, cross-legged, next to Kyungsoo, barely managing to fold his legs and tilt his head to accommodate to the table’s low height. Chanyeol just knows that his neck is going to hurt so much tomorrow.

And he also knows that Kyungsoo is going to regret drinking this much when he wakes tomorrow morning. (Chanyeol closes his eyes and goes into four seconds of silence to pray for Baekhyun.)

He’s knocked out. Kyungsoo is absolutely smashed, K to the O, but most definitely not O to the K. Which is, frankly, super duper rare given his alcohol tolerance. And Chanyeol once again contemplates murdering Baekhyun (in his head) for allowing his boyfriend to consume this much— _but exactly how much???_ —alcohol. Kyungsoo is so smashed that he doesn’t even stir when Chanyeol gently manhandles him to lay across his lap, shoulders supported with a strong arm, head resting on a warm, secure chest.

“What do I do with you…” Chanyeol dips his head down to press a sweet kiss on his boyfriend’s forehead… as he reaches for his phone. 

“Record close-up shots of you, of course, sweetheart.” 

Without removing his lips from Kyungsoo’s face, Chanyeol brings up his phone and positions it to record both him and Kyungsoo. He then slowly grazes his way down to Kyungsoo’s eyes, nose, and lips before giving them a light peck. And another. And another. And Chanyeol would have gone for _another_ if not for a sudden shriek in a familiar high-pitched tone.

“Stop making out under my kitchen table and get the fuck outta my house!”

 

\---

 

Wanting to free an arm to be able to hold his phone and record the “blackmail material”, Chanyeol has Kyungsoo draped over a shoulder and secured with an arm. With his phone raised high enough to capture both him and Kyungsoo, Chanyeol navigates through the carpark to get to his car while ensuring that his boyfriend doesn’t slide off. 

"It's rare that Soo gets this drunk," says Chanyeol to his phone. "But he's not behaving as he usually does when he's drunk! And to think here I thought there's going to be fun stuff to see, but there's actually nothing!" And to show his (mock) displeasure, Chanyeol slaps Kyungsoo’s butt. 

With the hand that’s holding his phone.

“Oops, reflex.” Chanyeol giggles. “Guess Soo’s beautiful ass is going into the video.”

The walk to the car is smooth and quiet, with Chanyeol occasionally piping up out of nowhere, eyes darting to the phone that he’s still holding up and recording with. He talks about their favourite types of alcohol, their alcohol tolerance, and their drunken antics. He then laments about parking his car this far from the building, and that his arm is aching.

“Under the weight of the phone,” Chanyeol quickly adds, smile sheepish. “I didn’t mean Soo. My baby boy, of course, isn’t at all heavy.” He gives the phone a firm nod as if to confirm his point. “He’s as light as a feather, as a pillow, as a down jacket.” He turns a corner then, eyes flitting away from the phone to look ahead; he spies his car at that (godforsaken) corner. _Finally_ , he thinks. Chanyeol then looks back at his phone camera lens and sternly says, “Do Kyungsoo is as light as a 61-kilogram rice bag.”

Silence. Then, it is as though the magic words have been said. 

The “61-kilogram rice bag” on Chanyeol’s shoulder suddenly stirs. Suddenly starts wailing. And suddenly starts kicking his legs and smacking his hands on Chanyeol’s back. Kyungsoo’s sudden movements startle Chanyeol, and he loses his balance spectacularly, falling onto the dirty carpark ground with a loud shout of surprise. Fortunately, he manages to tilt himself and not fall on Kyungsoo. Unfortunately, Chanyeol didn’t manage to grip onto his phone tightly, and it hits the tar with a sickening _thud_.

He very much wants to cry. Chanyeol really wants to, but he doesn’t have time. Not when–

“Yeol?”

–an ever-familiar voice suddenly comes from next to him and Chanyeol, while rubbing his pained arm (because he fell on it), turns to look at Kyungsoo, who’s blinking his eyes with his brows furrowed. A fond (but pained) smile immediately breaks out across Chanyeol’s face when he sees how adorably confused his boyfriend is.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he says, gently. “How are you feeling?”

“Huh? What did you say?” Kyungsoo narrows his eyes and continues to blink. He’s not looking at Chanyeol, seemingly looking at a spot on the ground. Kyungsoo’s also pawing at Chanyeol’s arm, fingers curling around a forearm as he attempts to pull himself up into a sitting position. “What did you say? I can’t hear you.”

Giving his arm one last look and rub, Chanyeol helps Kyungsoo up, a large hand resting over a smaller one. His boyfriend looks up at him, narrowed and blinking eyes slowly opening and widening. Chanyeol takes in Kyungsoo’s eyes. They’re sparkling, twinkling, and under the moonlit night sky, they look exceptionally bigger and more beautiful. Chanyeol resists the urge to kiss them. 

“I said–”

“I can’t–” Kyungsoo interrupts, a hand removing itself from Chanyeol’s arm and it claps over Chanyeol’s mouth. For a drunk person, Kyungsoo’s accuracy is alarming. Then, he suddenly shouts, “I CAN’T HEAR YOU, SPEAK LOUDERRRRRRRRRR!”

Oh god. It’s here. It’s happening. The very thing that Chanyeol has been waiting for since he received Jongdae’s SOS call is finally happening. 

And Chanyeol immediately thinks: _where’s my fucking phone_. 

He looks around wildly, spotting it a couple of feet away. Chanyeol gently removes Kyungsoo’s hands from himself before reaching over, a hand grabbing it off the ground. He whistles lowly in relief and surprise when he sees how the phone is alive and _still_ recording. Bless the expensive brick-y phone cover Kyungsoo forced him to purchase (which Chanyeol, in turn, forced Kyungsoo to get too to _do the couple phone matching cover thing!_ ).

With no time to waste, Chanyeol quickly points the camera at Kyungsoo and resumes recording his “blackmail material”.

Oblivious to his boyfriend's antics, Kyungsoo looks up and at the phone camera. He tilts his head sideways, eyes blinking and lips rising into a slight pout. Then, he raises an arm and stabs a finger at the phone. “You,” Kyungsoo says, his gruff tone contrasting with his pout. “Who are you and what have you done with my Chanyeol. Why is it you who’s here and not my baby boy.”

Chanyeol almost drops his phone. “Wha– What did you say?”

Kyungsoo wraps his fingers around the phone and tugs it down towards him, unintentionally bringing Chanyeol down, too. The Kyungsoo in Chanyeol’s phone screen abruptly grows enormous, his face filling up the entirety of the screen. Chanyeol attempts to pull his phone back a little but Kyungsoo holds on, strength unusually larger than Chanyeol’s. Chanyeol sighs and lets his boyfriend be.

“I said,” says Kyungsoo, brows furrowing in probable annoyance. “Where is my baby boy? Where is my Yeollie? Why is he not here! Why are you here, you– you metal thing!” And he proceeds to shake the phone rather violently.

Despite being shaken along with his phone, Chanyeol doesn’t realise it and only stops Kyungsoo seconds later because he was spacing out. He went into a daze because he received an unexpected attack on the heart from Kyungsoo in the form of his words. “Wow,” breathes Chanyeol. He edges his face close to the phone, his mouth at the microphone. “Soo never calls me that when he’s sober. _Never_. So, to commemorate this moment—this rare, fucking moment—I’m going to need to record more of this.” 

Clearing his throat, Chanyeol softly asks again, “Soo, what did you… say?”

Kyungsoo growls. He flings the phone aside (and by proxy Chanyeol, too) and jumps up. Despite being drunk, Kyungsoo’s balance is surprisingly intact. He manages to stand, body straight and unmoving. Towering over (a still-recording) Chanyeol who’s half-lying on the carpark road (because Kyungsoo's height requires a low shooting angle), Kyungsoo plants a hand on his hip and points an index straight at the phone.

“YOU! DEAF METAL THING! LISTEN UP!” he shouts. “I SAID, WHERE’S MY BABY BOY! WHERE’S MY YEOLLIE, MY MUSCLEMAN, MY LIGHTBULB CHANGER, MY RICE BAG CARRIER! WHERE’S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! I DON'T WANT YOU HERE! GO AWAY METAL THING! AND GET MY BABY BOY TO COME RIGHT NOW!”

At the way Kyungsoo stamped his feet while shouting _COME RIGHT NOW!_ , Chanyeol bursts out into a fit of giggles. He knows he’s not supposed to laugh but, _goddammit_ , Kyungsoo’s drunken display of affection(?) is too fucking adorable. Chanyeol will take Kyungsoo’s punishment later when he views the video, but for now, he’s going to enjoy this situation and bask in his boyfriend’s love (and hilarity).

Chanyeol purposely lifts his phone and positions it back in Kyungsoo’s line of sight, biting back another laugh when Kyungsoo expectedly reaches out and slaps the piece of metal away. “Why are you still here! Go away metal!” he whines.  
“I want my boyfriend! My Yeollie! I want my baby boy!” And Kyungsoo resumes stamping his feet, hands clenching into small, cute fists at his sides. His brows are cutely furrowed, the corners of his lips turning downwards into a tiny, adorable frown as Kyungsoo wails, “Chanyeollllll! Park Chanyeollllll! Where are youuuuuuuu– Hic–” 

Suddenly, he begins to sway, and Kyungsoo’s feet step all over, crossing each other as he attempts to keep himself from falling onto the ground. The feet crossing causes Kyungsoo to stumble, and he would have fallen over if not for the arm that Chanyeol immediately stretches out in front of him. In the next moment, Chanyeol finds himself with an armful of his hiccupping boyfriend.

“Got you,” says Chanyeol. He sits back down onto the ground before moving himself and Kyungsoo into a more comfortable position, legs circling Kyungsoo as Chanyeol gently manhandles his boyfriend to sit with his back resting against his chest. Chanyeol, too, doesn’t forget to place his phone up in an appropriate location to record the “blackmail material”, with it being propped up by one of his shoes and facing both Kyungsoo and Chanyeol. 

The familiarity of the arms wrapped around him and the warmth emanating from the chest he’s resting on seems to finally catch on to Kyungsoo as he turns his head and looks up at the person behind him. Slowly blinking his eyes, Kyungsoo softly questions, “Yeollie…? Is that you?”

“Yep.” Chanyeol nods. “It’s me, Chanyeol.”

Kyungsoo blinks. Blinks again. A pout makes its way back onto his face. “Why are you here?”

“Huh?” Kyungsoo’s unexpected reply takes Chanyeol aback. _Aren’t you the one who’s been calling for me?_ Chanyeol chuckles lowly and shakes his head in confusion. He dips his head down and fondly noses at Kyungsoo’s exposed hairline, the hair that usually covers his forehead having been gelled up for work. “I came because you called for me.”

A questioning whine makes its way out of Kyungsoo. “Me? I… called for you?” And the drunk man points at himself before prodding it at Chanyeol’s face. For a drunk person, Kyungsoo has impressive accuracy.

Because his index is right where Chanyeol’s dimple is on his left cheek.

Said dimple appears as a smile spreads across Chanyeol’s face. He can’t help it. Chanyeol can’t help but smile at Kyungsoo's actions. The hard side of him has all but faded to reveal this soft, relaxed, and cute side of Kyungsoo. While it’s a guaranteed appearance whenever Kyungsoo’s smashed with alcohol, it’s actually not hard to see this side of Kyungsoo too when he’s sober. All Chanyeol has to do is cuddle, cuddle, cuddle Kyungsoo in his arms until his boyfriend thoroughly relaxes (and turns to mush). An intense session of love-making before the cuddling helps, too.

“Yes, you called for me,” says Chanyeol, gentle and affectionate. He turns his head until his lips touch the finger Kyungsoo used to prod at his face. Chanyeol kisses the tip of it before continuing to say, “So, here I am. Your baby boy’s here to bring you home.”

A broad smile forms on Kyungsoo’s face. “Home,” he giggles, hands coming up to cover his mouth. His eyes narrow into crescents as his full, alcohol-tinged pink cheeks rise. “Gonna go home with my baby boy~”

Chanyeol hopes that Kyungsoo’s silly expression was caught on camera because _ugh he’s so cute I need to look at that face every day_. He makes a move to stand, arms wrapping even tighter around Kyungsoo’s body to pull him up too when Kyungsoo suddenly yelps.

“Shoe!” He points at Chanyeol’s socked foot. “Where’s Yeollie’s shoe? Where’s my baby boy’s– Oh! There it is!” And Kyungsoo, after slapping away the pair of arms around his torso (causing Chanyeol to huff and pout), reaches over to where Chanyeol has placed his shoe (and his phone), only to stop midway. He must have spotted the phone.

Kyungsoo turns back, eyes wide in bewilderment. “Oh no!” he exclaims with an arm extended behind him. “Your shoe– Yeollie, your shoe is being held hostage! B-By the m-metal!” 

_God_ , Kyungsoo is so damn fucking adorable right now, and Chanyeol doesn’t know whether he ought to laugh or cry at his boyfriend’s actions. He does neither, choosing to go along with his boyfriend’s drunken act. Gasping, Chanyeol covers his mouth with a hand. “Oh dear! What do we do, Soo! I need to get my shoe!” 

“I– I have an idea!”

“What idea, babe?”

Kyungsoo thumps his chest, a triumphant expression on his face. “Just watch me, Yeollie. I’ll get your shoe back.” 

Apparently, Kyungsoo’s _I’ll get your shoe back_ entails grabbing Chanyeol’s phone and holding it tightly to his chest while he hollers at Chanyeol, “GET YOUR SHOEEEEEEEE! YEOLLIE, QUICK! I CAN’T HOLD IT OFF ANY LONGER! IT’S ABOUT TO SLIP OUTTA MY HANDSSSSSSS!”

 _Are we acting in an action movie?_ is what Chanyeol amusedly thinks as he follows Kyungsoo’s instructions. Outrageously enough, Chanyeol _is_ going to heed Kyungsoo’s words. Having experienced his fair share of his boyfriend’s drunken antics, Chanyeol knows how to handle such circumstances. He immediately launches himself at his shoe, hands grabbing it before rolling haphazardly to a side and almost crashing into a curb. Chanyeol’s evidently not cut out for stunts. 

After stuffing his foot into his shoe, Chanyeol makes his way to Kyungsoo and asks for his phone.

“No!” says Kyungsoo fiercely, his eyes large and beautiful and fiery. “It’ll harm you!” 

Chanyeol drops to a squat in front of his boyfriend and extends a hand towards him. “I’m pretty sure that I’ll be fine so, hand it over.”

“No!” Kyungsoo twists himself away from Chanyeol. “I can’t let it harm you! I won’t let it hurt my baby boy! No!”

“Soo…” Biting back a strong urge to giggle, Chanyeol places a hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder to gently turn him around. “Sweetheart, c’mon.”

“No!”

“Soo…”

“I said no!” And Kyungsoo’s outburst while turning back ought to have Chanyeol reeling back in shock if not for the apparent wetness welling in Kyungsoo's eyes. Chanyeol’s thumbs are instantly there, gently wiping away his boyfriend’s tears. 

“Why are you crying… Sweetheart…”

“I– I have to protect Yeollie! If not…”

“If not what? What will happen to Yeollie, sweetie?”

Kyungsoo sniffles. “If not– If not, he’s going to cry again. Like that time when his legs were made fun of. Like that time when someone tripped him, and he fell onto the sand and bloodied his knees. And– And like that time when he listened to the evil people who teased him about his ears and wanted to cut them off because he thought that they were ugly!” Kyungsoo looks up at Chanyeol then, tears spilling from his glistening eyes, face blotchy from crying.

“I– I’ve always thought that Yeollie’s ears were cute. And that they make Yeollie uniquely Yeollie. And I– I like this Yeollie. So very much.”

Chanyeol wants to cry. He very much wants to cry alongside Kyungsoo. His boyfriend’s sudden protection speech(?) is so touching, it’s wreaking havoc in his heart, and it hurts.

“Oh, Soo.” Chanyeol surges forward and pulls Kyungsoo into his arms. “I love you. I love you.” 

_I love you so damn fucking much it hurts._

Possibly surprised by Chanyeol’s embrace, Kyungsoo goes silent until moments later when Chanyeol reluctantly shifts to be able to look down at him. Kyungsoo tilts his head up, and his face breaks into an absolutely dazzling smile. There’s a heart where his lips are supposed to be.

“I love Yeollie, too,” he says. “I love my baby boy so damn fucking much it hurts.”

At Kyungsoo’s unexpected choice of words, Chanyeol laughs. He stops when he feels a pair of hands cradling his face, acceding to the strength that’s gently forcing his head down. And when Chanyeol dips his head down, Kyungsoo’s lips are on his in the next second. 

(Once again, for someone who’s drunk, Kyungsoo’s accuracy is alarming.)

Chanyeol smiles into the kiss, nose scrunching a little when Kyungsoo’s tongue comes prodding at his lips and he gets a whiff of alcohol. How much did Kyungsoo drink, Chanyeol doesn’t know. What he does know is that he can’t get enough.

When it comes to Kyungsoo, nothing is ever _enough_.

 

(Speaking of kissing, Chanyeol thinks he hears Jongdae shrieking in his apartment, _“Stop making out at my apartment carpark and get the fuck home!”_ )

 

\---

 

 **parkthatyeol**

[video]

 **parkthatyeol** someone didn’t believe that i’d upload the “blackmail material” i’ve recorded… so, here is a 1 min snippet! enjoy enjoy enjoy!!!! ;D

View all 7 comments

 **doitlikesoo** You’re dead to me, Park Chanyeol. I’m throwing you out. Don’t bother to come back home tonight.

 **kimjd** HAHAHAHAHAHAH

 **baekthebaker** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH 

**parkthatyeol** @kimjd @baekthebaker i’m getting the last laugh bcs your couch is now mine for the week 

**baekthebaker** fuck 

**kimjd** i take my laugh back so @doitlikesoo please take your boyfriend back

 **doitlikesoo** HAHAHAHAHAH no

 

\---

 

 **sweetheart <3:** When you come home later, I’m expecting an apology.

 **baby boy:** i don’t have to crash at dae and hyun’s???? you’re letting me come home on the day itself?????? 

**sweetheart <3:** Stop questioning me, you’re giving me a headache and it’s only 2PM. I’m expecting one more apology now.

 **baby boy:** oh you’ll be getting /more/ than two apologies ;)

 **sweetheart <3:** I don’t want a candlelight dinner. Nor do I want a bouquet of sunflowers. Also, no takoyaki.

 **baby boy:** dammit ;;;;;;;; how did you know

 **sweetheart <3:** You do know that this is /me/ you’re talking to, right, Chanyeol?

 **baby boy:** uhhhhhhhh heh

 **sweetheart <3:** I’d take you up on the mind-blowing sex, though.

 **baby boy:** ASNDKSDLISHFSDNKL how did you know about the sex wait this is you i’m talking to

 **baby boy:** BUT YES BABY IT WILL BE MORE THAN MIND BLOWING YOU CAN TRUST ME

 **baby boy:** AND MY SAUSAGE 

**sweetheart <3:** You’re insulting sausages, babe.

 **baby boy:** yeollie is sad ))))))))))))));

 **sweetheart <3:** Cheer up. 

**baby boy:** can’t ); 

**sweetheart <3:** I can’t, too.

 **baby boy:** can’t what? 

**sweetheart <3:** Can’t wait to be with my baby boy ^^

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like i ruined a very fun idea lol ):
> 
> but y'all gotta admit that the title is genius ;)
> 
> twitter: soobiscuits


End file.
